La forma en que te hablas no es solo un hábito: es el espejo donde se refleja tu autoestima, el termómetro de como te tratas y de como esta tu salud emocional en cualquier momento.
The way you talk to yourself isn’t just a habit: it’s a mirror that reflects your self-esteem. Every morning, when you look in the mirror, or you’re driving, or you’re making dinner, there’s a constant inner dialogue that can either lift you up or bring you down. If you say: ‘What a mess…’
If you say :I´m a disaster‘… because of a small mistake, without realising it, you’re feeding your inner critic. This can very easily turn into a constant presence. However, if you can start telling yourself: “I´m learning and doing my best and it´s okyou open a space for self compassion.
Our internal self dialogue isn´t innocent. Studies show that people who speak to themselves harshly -I´ll never make it,,I´m a failure“— experience higher levels of stress and anxiety. However, when those phrases are replaced with something kinder — ‘I’m doing my best’ — the brain begins to feel a sense of security. It’s like watering a plant: positive words help it grow, while toxic ones cause it to wither.”
It´s not about lying or faking perfection. I am speaking more about the importance of training oneself to be both honest and tender. For example, instead of saying, ‘I’m stupid for getting it wrong’, you can say, ‘That hurt, but it doesn’t define who I am’. Little by little, repeating this kind of self-talk rewrites your inner narrative. And yes, it’s hard. At first it sounds fake, like making it up. But over time, the critical voice loses power and the kinder one gains power.
Self-esteem isn’t something that’s simply handed to you. It’s true that our childhood experiences form the foundation of our confidence, self-assurance and self-esteem, or the contrary, but it’s never too late to cultivate a better self-esteem.
‘ And how?’ you might ask. A first step lies in those conversations that nobody hears. Every time you choose to be your own ally rather than your own enemy, you give yourself permission to exist without judging yourself. And that, ultimately, is freedom: not relying on others’ approval to feel valuable.
So today, when you talk to yourself, try to say things that support you. Because you deserve to be your own best friend, not your harshest critic.
If this article resonates with you, or if you consider that you had a childhood where you didn´t recieve much support, you might find it helpful to have some therapy sessions with me a psychologist who can help you cultivate your self-esteem, who will listen to you without judgement and support you in finding your truth, your needs and your joy.
